i'm nervous, but not like shaking-like-a-leaf nervous, i'm hyper-sensitive today. i had a lesson with julia this afternoon, started with the brahms, and when brahms was done, she looked at me and said, with her russian accent, "i don't like you today, you seem nervous..." and i broke down and cried for half a minute. how bizarre...
i'm not worried about my performance tomorrow, so i don't know if i'm nervous about it, or just super aware of what i'm headed towards and how different it is from anything i've ever done. it's quite exhilarating, and understandably it's also a bit trepidating, if that's the correct word. i love this new direction. it's amazing to see how well it fits with who i am and what i love.i think i'm overwhelmed rather than nervous. and although i often notice a feeling of aloneness in all of this, i also know i'm getting support from all sorts of people who want nothing but for me to be happy and to follow my bliss - you all have such faith in me.
thanks everyone.
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i took a nice really hot bath last night, in lavender foam, lit a half-stick of rose incense, and had a chamomile tea. i felt so much better. i stayed relaxed until i went to sleep. awesome.
theory entrance exam at 9am, and audition at 3:45pm. i'll have more to say after that.
:)
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